So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
