I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
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Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
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I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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