I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I would fuck him just for his dog
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
