Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
