dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
