sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
