We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
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Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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