perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
