My brain says no but my pants say off.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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