I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
