Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
