Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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