Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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