wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
pray to the hookup gods
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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