I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
