Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
