its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
