He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
