Pappa wants mamma naked
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
