Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize