everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Well I just put wine in my tea
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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