I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
