Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
