I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
