so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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