I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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