Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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