I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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