He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
