Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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