I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
