Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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