matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
do herpes really smell.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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