how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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