Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize