is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
