I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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