she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
