I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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