I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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