And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
