i just google imaged poop.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
