It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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