It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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