Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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