I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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