So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
