Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize