ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
