New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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