i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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