1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
