There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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