2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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