I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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