are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
