Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
