can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
