Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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