we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
