i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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