oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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