If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
